we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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