and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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