Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
FUCK WHALES
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
