I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
