I wannas sexs uuuuu
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Someone signed my nipple.
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