So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
