everyone is single if you try hard enough
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
