So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
