Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
