somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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