At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Semen is not good for contacts.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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