I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize