You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
