Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
