There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
