i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
