I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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