i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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