I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
