A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
