Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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