I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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