There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
