Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
