Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
