You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
