You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
