I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize