bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
