his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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