do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
