Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
