But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
