In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
