I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize