Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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