i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
