Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize