I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
