So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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