I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize