You work out of a Hotel?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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