ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
