dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
