I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize