YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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