vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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