Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
