Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
