So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Your tits are I can't wait for
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
