Soap is not a condiment
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
