my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
