dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
