I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize