He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
