i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
