i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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