How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I cut my penus on the lid.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
