Pappa wants mamma naked
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize