conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
