Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
